Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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