Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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