are you still at the devil's house?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
