At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize