I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
