I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The air was thick with penises
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
