what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
This house was built for laser tag.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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