do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
