I got chris browned last night
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
