I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
