There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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