Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
