Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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