I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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