If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize