I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Randomize
