I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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