Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
