I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The Olympian is in my bed
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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