I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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