Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
