Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
