please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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