i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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