I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
