Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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