Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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