Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize