I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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