i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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