My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
