I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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