This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
