i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We had to coat check the pizza.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize