hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
