I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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