Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
