Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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