i just wanna soil my oats bro
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize