Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
