Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
