so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
