i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
