I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
