it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
