My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
