peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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