i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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