you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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