You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
