don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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