i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
