i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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