i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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