He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
