I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
