there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
