Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
