yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
