so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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