My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
