Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
