I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
