You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
