I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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