There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize