adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
