the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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