found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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