What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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