so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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