PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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