problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
